When I Came Out to My Priest, He Was Disappointed
I’m just now seeing how bizarre that was.
Yes, bizarre. Was it just the other day?
I had a conversation with someone about my experience of coming out when I shared my exciting news with my priest, a liberal, cool dude — whatever that means. It was about 35 years ago. The coming out, not the most recent conversation.
Who did I have that just-the-other-day conversation with? I haven’t been around many people over the past couple of weeks with whom I would feel comfortable having that conversation.
Oh wait — it was my therapist. Okay, comfortable is not a requirement there.
It was a conversation that has remained unspoken for 35 years. I was a lay leader in my church — led the vestry for many years, sang in the choir, played in the orchestra. I felt it would be appropriate, even necessary, to share my change in status with him, the “no longer married and now living with my lover who I am not able to marry but would if it was legal” … that change. I didn’t want it to be puzzling to him when I no longer showed up with my husband. How considerate of me.
Yet, puzzled he was. He was startled, disappointed, could only hear how my news affected his relationship with me. He thought of me as a sensual woman. And was…
